I've decided that I am going to live my life in only one way. I will not make plans anymore, or try to figure out what to do next, or to make anything happen. I turn my life over to God, Universe and simply ask "What's next for me".
Since April 15th 2017 when I had a life changing awakening, that's what I've done and it has led me to Thailand. How is that possible?! I could have never imagined I could have this incredible adventure on this pristine, Island called Koh Samui.
The way we live in this day and age having to work, work work to keep everything going is insane. After raising my kids, I had just had it! From the IRS, utility bills, property taxes, insurance for car, health, saving for the future, I decided to trust in the Universe to guide me instead of spinning my wheels, trying to make everything happen. I was living in "fight or flight mode" with anxiety, fear, worry and no peace. So far, it works like magic! I don't allow what's in my bank account to determine my worth or happiness. What if I need a root canal or something blows in my home that costs a fortune?!
I know I will be taken care of, we all will. Living in angst is no way to live. It is a big leap of faith, but I took it, and never felt more peace.
We are taught to plan and become someone successful. I spent decades striving for success, money, love, and fame, thinking it would fill me and make me happy. And I had all those things for awhile. It is all fleeting. Life is just living day to day, interacting with people and nature, eating meals, sleeping and waking up and doing it all over again.
What if there is no purpose? So far, 6 months into this new way of life, it works like a charm. I have zero stress, angst, fear or depression. I want nothing. I really mean it. I don't want any new clothes, or a new car, or anything material. All I want to do is be of service in any way I can while enjoying a simple life with no meaning. I want to do what I came here to do.
We all signed up to come here to do our part to contribute to the healing and awakening of this world. We know that, in our core, yet the suffering we endure can be overwhelming. For me, my latest 'Dark Night of the Soul' just about did me in. Addiction has been my greatest challenge. My friends would say, "Sheila, you are the comeback Kid. You always bounce back." My response was, "I can't do this anymore! I don't want to come back! I'm done."
By the Grace of God I am giving this one last go. It is through our suffering that we receive our greatest Gifts. Sucks huh?! So if I can do it, you can do it. Hang in there. Forget the insanity of this reality and play in another Reality. You are here to make a difference and you are!
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I am in Thailand for 1 month....Simply following God's guidance. More~Later xxx